Self-love is an indispensable ingredient for high self-esteem. However, we often neglect it when it is in danger. Meet the seven most tricky signs of weakening your self-love.
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Today we are celebrating Valentine's Day. Much is said about love but very few remember that it all starts from self-love. Without it, no love is possible.
A healthy self-love means we have no compulsion to justify to ourselves or others why we take vacations, why we sleep late, why we buy new shoes, or why we spoil ourselves from time to time. We feel comfortable doing things which add quality and beauty to life.” - Andrew Matthews
We often neglect self-love. Instead, most individuals seek approval from other people and do everything for the sake of it.
However, acting in this way brings many negative consequences - you have no respect for your own growth, being vulnerable to energy vampires and any kind of manipulation.
Lack of self-love causes choosing abusive partners and tolerating toxic people around, being hurt by them at the same time, without standing up for yourself.
7 Signs When Self-Love Is Endangered
There are seven signs that your self-love is in danger.
1. You Cannot Accept your Limits and Flaws
Self-acceptance is necessary for self-love. You need to learn to love your limits and flaws. Otherwise, people will hurt you.
In the case of long-term illnesses and disability, you are more vulnerable to abuse and then inner strengthened self-love is a must.
Take Action Now
Start making friends with your flaws. Are you poor at Maths or cannot recognise the people on the street? Make a list of advantages which these so-called limits may give you.
For example, you may be poor at Maths, e.g., at geometry, but running a successful business, where numbers are important. Moreover, list all your achievements despite your limits and commit to doing so on a regular basis.
2. You Kill Self-Love Compared with Others
No one is perfect but everyone is unique. But society has set some standards, forcing you to meet them and in the case of being different, you might be seen as awkward or even sent to a psychiatric ward.
However, if we were the same, the world would be boring. Moreover, no one can do everything. Then interdependence and co-existence are necessary.
Act Now
Stop comparing yourself. Look at your achievements from the last year and notice your progress. If you cannot find any achievement, think of all the life lessons. Each of them has taught you something and this is your asset now.
3. You Seek Other People's Approval
It is the worst thing you can do. By seeking approval, you resign from your dreams and goals, limit your freedom and let other people hurt you. Some of them may be important in your life, like your partner, children or parents. But even then, do you really need their approval? What will happen if you go your own way?
Act Now
List all the people whose approval you are seeking constantly. Who is more important than yourself? Who do you give permission to manipulate your life, to dictate what to do, how to think and what to believe? Since now, decide that you love yourself enough to resign from the approval of your family, friends and even co-workers or neighbours.
4. You Kill Self-Love By Blaming
Blaming is the symptom of a disease called victimism. If you cannot take control of your life, self-love is in danger. While blaming other people, your focus and precious energy are given to them. There are three kinds of blaming (more about them in this article):
Other People/Beings
Circumstances
Self-blame
Act Now
List all your major decisions made during last year. Were they right? Do an analysis in writing:
· How much influence did you have on each of the decisions made?
· What circumstances, e.g. force majeure, had an impact on your decision and you could not foresee them? Then forgive yourself.
When the weather is miserable and you want to go for a walk, ask yourself: what can I do instead to enjoy my time? List all the situations which you blame for lack of success, fortune or health.
5. You Kill Self-Love By No Forgiveness
Forgiveness is the key to happiness. You cannot love yourself and other people if you hold grudges or beat up yourself. When you forgive, your mind, body and soul are cleared from the baggage of negativity, you cut the barbwire of personal limits and your fear diminishes.
Act Now
Write down all the people who have hurt you in any way. Then affirm in writing: “I let the grudge go” 27 times.
Imagine the grudge being washed away by the water. Do this exercise for at least a week. If you find it hard to forgive yourself, think about what you would say to your friend if he or she were in your shoes.
Are you still angry with yourself? You can use the following affirmation: “I forgive myself …. as I am a human being and have the right to make mistakes.”
6. You Follow the Belief “I'm not good enough”
“I'm not good enough” is one of my core beliefs. Thinking about yourself in this way attracts the people who will tell you the same and the circumstances when you prove not to be good enough for something while self-love assumes acceptance of your skills on the level you have them.
Take Action Now
I encourage you to use affirmations on an everyday basis as this tool is great for reprogramming your subconscious mind. In the case of the negative belief, “I'm not good enough…” Write the opposite.
First, think of the achievements, even the smallest ones, in the field which you regard as “not good enough”.
Then write the sentence, every three times, “I'm good enough to… (add your achievement).” I am good enough/smart enough to write an excellent report.
Further reading about affirmations:
7. You Kill Self-Love by Bad Habits and Addictions
Habits can empower or destroy you. And I am not only writing about addictions like smoking or playing computer games. Negative thinking is also a bad habit, which has a destructive impact on your life.
Take Action Now
Think of all your habits, the things you do regularly. List them in your diary or notebook. Then define which of your habits has a negative impact on your life. The next step is to find something to substitute the bad habit and start doing it for at least 90 days.
Work On Your Self-Love Meditating
Connect with Eternal Love, Divine and Infinite, with the beings who have higher vibrations and love unconditionally. Release all the negativity which stops you from self-love.
Let's Meditate Together
Connect remotely during joint meditation on Saturdays at 10 am and 8 pm GMT +1 (IST). I will meditate with you and other people then use telepathy. Send your intention to the Universe. Transform your life and the world. Check and join upcoming meditations.
Learn more about meditation:
· How To Transform the World through Meditation
In A Nutshell
Today you have learnt the 7 signs indicating that your self-love is in danger. They include a lack of self-acceptance, comparing yourself to other people, seeking their approval, blaming, lack of forgiveness, bad habits and addictions and many more. Beware of these traits and your self-love will flourish. With love,
Vicky
About
Vicky is an experienced holistic writer and coach that inspires, motivates, and encourages everyone to become the best version of themselves - physically, mentally, and spiritually.
DISCLAIMER
The content of Awaken Happy Life is published for educational and informative purposes only. It does not substitute medical or any other professional advice. Please seek professional care if you believe you may have a condition. The author of Awaken Happy Life is not liable for any consequences of applying any piece of advice published on this website by the reader.