Many readers have asked me recently to write some posts about self-compassion. Today you will learn how to practise self-compassion.
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Self-compassion is necessary to practise self-love and self-acceptance. Not long ago you could read about guilt. In this case, being compassionate to yourself is a must.
Learn how to handle guilt - the article continues below:
The Definition of Self-Compassion
Self-compassion is extending compassion to one's self in instances of perceived inadequacy, failure, or general suffering. " In short, the word compassion literally means to “suffer with.” - Wikipedia
Another term used here is self-kindness: self-compassion entails being warm towards oneself when encountering pain and personal shortcomings, rather than ignoring them or hurting oneself with self-criticism.
Compassion for Others
There is no difference between having compassion for oneself and for others. Think about what the experience of compassion feels like.
Firstly, in the case of compassion for others, you must notice that they are suffering. It means that if you ignore a homeless person in the street, you cannot feel compassion for how difficult his or her experience is.
Secondly, compassion involves feeling moved by others’ suffering. In turn, your heart responds to their pain. When you feel this kind of compassion, warmth, caring, and desire to help the suffering person are present here in some way.
Thirdly, having compassion also means that you offer understanding and kindness to others in case when they fail or make mistakes, rather than judging them harshly.
Finally, when you feel compassion for another, you realize that suffering, failure, and imperfection are part of the shared human experience. You never use mere pity then.
Self-Compassion
Self-compassion involves acting the same way towards yourself in the following cases:
when you are having a difficult time,
when you fail,
or when you notice something you do not like about yourself.
Instead of just ignoring your pain with a “stiff upper lip” mentality, you present a different attitude, telling yourself
“This is really difficult right now,” how can I comfort and care for myself at this moment?
This attitude is better than mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings.
Self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings because you are not supposed to be perfect.
More about Self-Compassion
You may try to change in ways that allow you to be healthier and happier. However, it is done not because you are worthless or unacceptable as you are, but because you care about yourself.
The most important thing about self-compassion is that you honour and accept your humanness because things will not always go the way you want them to.
For example, you will encounter frustrations, make mistakes, bump up against your limitations, and fall short of your ideal’s losses will occur. All these incidents are the human condition. They are a reality shared by us.
However, the more you open your heart to this reality instead of constantly fighting against it, the more you will feel compassion for yourself and all other humans in your life experience.
Self-judgement vs Self-Kindness
People cannot always be or get exactly what they want. It happens because stress, frustration and self-criticism emerge in the case when these people deny reality and fight against suffering.
This kind of attitude presents self-judgement. However, when the same people accept this reality with sympathy and kindness, they will experience greater emotional equanimity.
Self-compassion entails being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, instead of ignoring our pain or flagellating ourselves with self-criticism.
Therefore, self-compassionate people recognize that it is inevitable to be imperfect, fail, and experience life difficulties.
Hence, they tend to be gentle with themselves when confronted with painful experiences. They do not take the attitude of getting angry when life falls short of set ideals.
Isolation vs Common Humanity
When you have frustration at not having things exactly as you want, this feeling is often accompanied by an irrational but pervasive sense of isolation. You might think as if your “I” were the only person suffering or making mistakes.
But remember that all humans suffer. Just look at the definition of "human". It means that one is mortal, vulnerable and imperfect. Furthermore, self-compassion assumes recognizing that personal inadequacy.
Suffering is part of the shared human experience, common humanity. It is something that we all go through rather than something that happens to your “me” alone.
Mindfulness and Self-Compassion
Self-compassion also requires taking a balanced approach to your negative emotions in order not to suppress or exaggerate your feelings. You relate your personal experiences to those of others who are also suffering, putting your own situation into a larger perspective.
It also comes from the willingness to observe your negative thoughts and emotions with openness and clarity which is called mindfulness. The name comes from mindful awareness of your emotions, behaviour, body reactions and all around you.
Mindfulness can be also defined as a non-judgmental, receptive mind state in which one observes thoughts and feelings as they are, without trying to suppress or deny them.
At the same time, you cannot ignore your pain and feel compassion for it. Mindfulness requires a lack of “over-identification” with thoughts and feelings because they catch you up and sweep you away by negative reactivity.
Learn more about mindfulness - the article continues below:
Spiritual Self-Compassion
Spiritual growth assumes that you are compassionate to yourself and there is no excuse for it. Compassion is a part of acceptance which in term is one of the steps of spiritual mastery.
How to Practise Holistic Self-Compassion
Holistic self-compassion is not about mental and emotional health or physical well-being. You also need to embrace your soul and understand its plan and contract.
1. Learn More About Soul
Holistic life assumes that you know your soul. It mainly concerns your soul plan and using intuition so that your life is less hectic and filled with more love, peace, happiness, and abundance.
2. Think Positive
It is not the first time I am writing about the importance of positive thinking. Now it is even more critical to take care of the quality of your thoughts.
Make positive thinking your personal life goal and watch anything that could destroy peace and harmony in your life. While thinking positively, you will be able to practise self-compassion.
3. Be Kind to Yourself
Self-love and self-compassion assume taking care of your body, mind, heart, and soul. In the case of the body, take care of your health. Learn how to release traumatic emotions to enjoy peace and harmony. Be wary of your soul's messages and apply tip No. 2, positive thinking.
4. Meditate
This is probably the most holistic method of self-compassion. You do not need to know any affirmations or snippets like those described at the beginning of this article. Just connect with your astral body and start transforming your life.
5. Use Automatic Writing
This is another powerful technique that helps you to be compassionate. Write some loving statements. For example, make full sentences with these stems:
I love myself because...
I love my body because...
... (your name) I love you for ...
Learn more about how to use automatic writing - the article continues below:
6. Practise Mindfulness
Mindfulness has become very popular now. I will write more articles about it soon. In the shortest, you are mindful while living now and observing everything around you, without judgement. try to notice your breath, how you talk or walk, all tensions in your body, and all the people or plants around you.
Sit in a quiet place and start observing, for approximately 15 minutes. Do not focus too much on what you observe, just let it appear and disappear.
7. Stop Judging and Criticising - Yourself and Other Beings
I wrote an article not long ago about why and how to stop judging - yourself and other beings. Judgement belongs to a primitive, undeveloped stage of personal and spiritual growth.
You never know why someone has acted that way or what the purpose of your deeds is. Just assume that that was the right thing at a given moment.
Read more about how to apply the 4 spiritual laws
Read more about how to stop judging people and yourself
Action Exercise
Think of something that makes you angry, and frustrated and kills your peace of mind. Now try to look at this issue from an observer's perspective, as a film broadcast on TV. Can you notice the difference in your attitude?
Do this for some more things which evoke negative emotions.
Meditation
Practise meditation to increase self-compassion. Indulge in the love of God and spiritual beings, basking in the White Divine Light.
Let's meditate together
Connect by telepathy during meditation on Saturdays at 8 pm GMT. I will meditate with you and other people so that our collective energy can create miracles. Send your intention to the Universe. Transform your life and the world.
More about meditation
In a Nutshell
Today I have presented to you the idea of self-compassion which means being kind to yourself, especially at times of life turbulences. Use mindfulness to practise self-compassion and avoid self-judgment. With lots of love and light,
Vicky
About
Vicky is an experienced holistic writer and coach that inspires, motivates, and encourages everyone to become the best version of themselves - physically, mentally, and spiritually.
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