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Self-Love: 9 Effective Tools Of Transformation

We all know that self-love is a must for holistic happiness. Learn how to use the 9 effective tools to create self-love in your life.

What Is Self-Love

Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve.

Andrea Brandt

How To Self-Love

There are many ways in which you can express self-love. Here are some examples. You:

  • never beat up yourself,
  • are compassionate to yourself,
  • never compare to other individuals,
  • accept your life as it is.

What Happens If There Is No Self-Love

In the shortest, lack of self–love is detrimental to your mental health. You can find some information on Wikipedia about it. It increases the risk of suicide according to the American Association of Suicidology, They concluded that “depression, hopelessness, and low self-esteem are implications of vulnerability factors for suicide ideation” and that “these findings suggest that even in the context of depression and hopelessness, low self-esteem may add to the risk for suicide ideation”.

Also, if you cannot love yourself how can you give love to other people? You will be needy and expect your partner to fill up the void. Lack of self-love will project negativity inside you to your partner.

How To Awaken Self-Love

Self-love, self-respect and self-awareness make us better people. Unfortunately, we often lose self-respect in everyday life and our self-esteem plummets. You might consider yourself as someone less worthy, regardless of the internal or external conditions. It this is your case, the time has come for change.

Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

There are two friends that are your companions throughout the life: the self-esteem and the self-confidence.

Self-esteem means that you trust yourself and your capabilities, skills. You can be self-confident in one field of life, e.g. cooking, dancing, writing, public speaking, but there are also some areas where you are not so self-confident. On the contrary, self-esteem concerns your self-image, i.e. how you perceive yourself.

If you are a go-getter, have achieved a lot and in an easy way, other people may consider you as someone with high self-esteem. And it often is like that, but not for yourself. Until you wear the mask that everything is okay, people will perceive you this way.

But if you shed the mask, the brutal truth emerges: you need to satisfy your ego at all times, by promotions at work, proving others that you are the best. Wouldn’t be a better way to love yourself as you are? Do you really need to prove that you are second to none? No! Self-love is the only goal.

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How To Practise And maintain Self-Love?

How to awaken self-love in practice? Here are some of the most powerful ways that will help you to achieve this goal:

1. Focus On Someone Who Loves

If you are not able to practise self-love, it may be difficult to start loving yourself straightaway. You need to find a master who will teach you the craft, who will be a model for you.

Like in the case of shaping your figure by doing exercises, self-love needs persistent practice. Focus on being someone who loves, let love flow through you as often as possible. Focus on what you love in people and everything around you.

2. Learn How Others Love You

It is easy to love yourself when all is going according to your expectations. But what if not? Find out what other people love you for. Ask this question to your family and friends.

If someone loves you sincerely, your successes or failures should not count for him or her. They should not criticise or judge you either, but their duty is to be kind and compassionate to you. If there is no one who can be loving and compassionate, imagine such a person and later practise being him or her for yourself.

3. Stop Comparing To Others

It kills your self-love because you maximise your failures and minimise your successes as someone is better at something. Instead, become aware that you and only you are writing the history of your life, which is unique on this planet. Focus on building your own path of love. Never compare to others as their shoes are never fully known to yourself and they do not fit your legs.

4. Materialise Your Wants

Your wants can be powerful. However, to love yourself, you need to make your wants true. And it means taking care of yourself, every day, as then you show other people that you respect your wants and dreams.

5. Remember That Words Create Self-Love

Our thoughts are incubated from our beliefs. In turn, these thoughts influence our actions. However, beliefs are also created by thoughts when you repeat the same statement enough times. Hence, change your beliefs about lack of self-love. For example:

  • I am unworthy.
  • I do not deserve …
  • People do not respect me (because of …)
  • I am unloved.
  • I am unwanted.

Sometimes becoming aware of these beliefs is enough to make changes. In other cases, transform your beliefs. I will write some posts about it soon. But to try something right now, substitute the negative word with something positive. For example, ” I am doing all my best to move forward.”

6. Surround With Friendly People

Think of what the people with surrounding you most of the time, are. Do they inspire you and want all that is the best for you? Be choosy. Remember that toxic people are among us all the time and are waiting for our falls, our enslavement.

7. Be Self-Compassionate

Too many of us beat up ourselves at the times when we need self-love the most. It mostly happens when we let down someone, fail to do what they want or are rejected. When you do not love yourself at the moment of slipping, you just fall and it will be hard to get up later.

Instead, be a more self-loving and self-compassionate person when things are going against you. Then you will know that your getting up from from the fall will be quick and less painful.

8. Change Your Habits

Pay attention to how much and how often you do exercises, how much and what you eat, how much you sleep, not because you “have to”, but because you take care of yourself. By changing your habits, your emotional and mental health will also improve.

Put negative thoughts to the bin. Think how many worries have indeed become real. When something is going wrong, send a message of “the next time we will do it better and we will cope with the task” to your brain.

9. Accept What You Cannot Love

It is easy to love the things that you like in yourself. You do not have to love everything in yourself to develop self-love. Acceptance is all that you need. Do not change yourself for every sake, especially if it is unchangeable. Say to yourself’ “It may irritate me but it is not the end of the world.”


It is proved that meditating helps with creating self-love. To amplify this effect, connect with me on Saturday at 8 pm IST.


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In a Nutshell

Our life is full of ups and downs, but we can always have strong foundations of self-love, which is not a luxury but necessity in today’s world. Be patient while implementing the ways of self-love in everyday life. Good luck.


So tell me… how do YOU practise self-love every day? Share your story. I’d like to hear below!

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About Vicky

Vicky is an experienced holistic teacher whose work has influenced the lives of millions globally. Born into a family with a history of abuse, Vicky was taught about the plight of the human condition from a young age. As a spiritual mentor and coach, Vicky’s mission is to help others experience freedom, wholeness, and peace in all stages of life, on the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual level. Vicky also encourages people to connect with the Source and other beings by meditation.

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