Fear of failure may impede your holistic growth significantly. Learn what to do to treat failures as opportunities rather than problems.
What is Fear Of Failure
In the shortest, it is the fear of failing. You are afraid of taking action because it might not work and the consequences may be severe. Fear of failure is not only present in your mental or physical aspects of life. Many people are afraid of spiritual growth because of this kind of fear.
The feeling of fear is positive in moderation. It protects you from the harmful effects of actions taken by you. Therefore, fear is most needed, when we are in a situation of danger to life or health. However fear starts to be inappropriate when it creeps into virtually every area of your life.
I will write about the fear of failure mostly from the mental point of view, although some of the tips presented can also be applied on a spiritual level when you are afraid of taking the lessons planned by your soul. On the other side, before ascending to the Earth, your soul had no fear and sometimes decided to take too ambitious plan. Then, on this planet, you face the lessons and your mind starts to panic.
I have deliberately strickenthrough some phrases in this article in order to mark their negativity so that you can eradicate them easier from your language.
The Symptoms Of Fear Of Failure
I will not list all the symptoms as the list is huge and it is more important to stop the fear of failure than focusing on it too much. Nevertheless, let’s look at some of these symptoms:
1. You Are Worrying
Let me mention only a couple of things that you may worry about having the fear of failure. You may worry about:
- what other people think of you,
- if you pursue the future you desire,
- if people will lose interest in you,
- your competences and capabilities,
- disappointing people whose opinion you value.
2. You Inform Other People In Advance
How often does it happen when you say “
I can’t do it” in advance, even before someone asked you for help? Even if other people believe in your skills, you may still deny it and do everything to avoid doing a given thing.
Fear of failure can be masked by procrastination. You just do something else, especially at work, just to prove of being busy. In other cases, you may try to delegate unpleasant things to someone else. How? The next point will explain it.
4. Blaming, Complaining And Excuses
Let’s look at a child, telling his/her mom to tie the laces because “I
can’t do it, it’s too difficult.” The same happens at work. If you only can notice that someone is flexible and easily influenced, you may delegate an unpleasant task to them.
When you are afraid of failure, it is easy to blame anyone and anything for the fact that something is difficult. The boss, the weather, traffic jams, parents or the government can be the victims.
5. Simulation Of An Illness
It is very frequent, especially among children. You often get last-minute headaches, stomach aches, or other physical symptoms that prevent you from completing your preparation. In adult life, it is less frequent but in the case of intimate relationships, when chores are waiting to be done, you can also make excuses using illness as the reason for exemption from your duties.
How We Are Conditioned To Fear Failure
Fear of failure does not occur out of the blue. Usually, you are conditioned to experience it. Here are some most common ways in which you are conditioned.
How many times, when you started doing something from curiosity and failed your parents used to tell you “You won’t make it”? Suppose you were washing up or did any other chores and you heard “
You can never do it right.” Your parents might also discourage you indirectly by disapproval or criticism, or even punishing your attempts to learn new things. They infected you with their fear of failure, note even being aware of it.
In Your Past Lives
Not once and not twice, it definitely happened in your past lives that you had paid a high price for failure as a knight, king or soldier. Now, usually being unaware of these events, you are still afraid of making important decisions, e.g. at your work.
Learn More About Your Soul
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At School And At Work
Recall the times of primary school now. Unfortunately, during that time you learnt that making mistakes is very bad. Teachers effectively promoted the idea that failure is something to fear. When a student does something wrong it caused negative emotions, because teachers were criticising him/her in front of the whole class. In this way, fear settles into the areas of life it is completely useless, and even very harmful.
How To Win the Fear Of Failure
Firstly, I will give you some tips other people may give you on the fear of failure.
Life is too short to let fear make big decisions for you.Unknown
“I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.”George Burns
“You’ll always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”Wayne Gretzky
1. Watch Your Self-Talk And Change It
Note down what you are saying to yourself. You will be surprised how many times you use
“I can’t” or “It’s impossible”. And there is the problem. These words sabotage your personal success. Therefore you need to different linguistic structures
Substitute the disempowering statement with empowering ones. Instead of saying “
I can’t”, say “I can do it”. Repeat it at least 10 times a time, with conviction and power. You can also use some affirmations, such as
I CAN HANDLE THIS. I HAVE THE STRENGTH TO ACHIEVE ANY GOAL.
We have a divine element within, coming from the Source but the system – Matrix teaches us to be weak. Hence, when you remember where your soul comes from, fear of failure should be easy to eliminate.
2. Create New Habits
Create new habits. It is not enough to say “I can do it” or “I can handle this” only once, even if you repeat the statements 100 times. Develop a new habit of regular usage of these powerful positive statements – in the morning and before going to sleep, but also while you start experiencing the fear of failure.
Stand in front of the mirror in the bathroom and say to yourself, at least 20 times, “I can do it”. Visualise your strength and capabilities. Then recall something that makes you feel afraid of failing and “I can handle this” say 10 times. You can also use the affirmation presented above:
I CAN HANDLE THIS. I HAVE THE STRENGTH TO ACHIEVE ANY GOAL.
3. Start Believing That The There Is No Failure But Life Lessons
Think of failure as a kind of feedback. Save this belief on a piece of paper, print it and hang on the wall invisible place. Let it become part of your way of thinking. Learn it by heart. Understand that failure is something very precious because it brings with it a lot of knowledge and learning. If something does not work out, it is a sign to do something different. You’re one big step closer to success! And it does not matter what other people will say about your failure. In most cases, it is YOUR lesson, not theirs.
4. Never Take Failure Personally
If something does not work out, it does not mean that there is something wrong with you. Very often, negative feedback and criticism amplify the negative outcome, which dos necessarily have to be a failure. You and only you can decide if a given situation means failure. Often, there is a blessing in disguise. We frequently are not afraid of the failure itself but of other people’s judgement. It is a failure for our ego only, not the real self.
Change Your Thinking
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- how to use your thoughts for creating love, happiness, health and abundance
- how to overcome mental challenges
5. Act As If There is Nothing To Fail
Have you heard that saying “fake it ’till you make it?” Because fear of failure is learnable, you can unlearn it by pretending that there is nothing to be afraid of. Before doing anything which is challenging, think as if you have the courage to tackle it. Use visualisation, affirmations and meditation.
Use meditation as a powerful tool for dissolving all your fears and finding the clues on how to cope with the things you are afraid of. Dissolve your fears in the waterfall and use the divine white light to empower. To amplify the effect, join me and many people all over the world for a meditation on Saturday at 8 pm IST.
Learn More About Meditation
- what holistic meditation is about
- how to transform the world and your life by holistic meditation
- who needs meditation the most
- 6 mistakes during meditation
In A Nutshell
Today you have learnt five powerful tools which are useful. practise them whenever the fear of failure starts to paralyse you. And always remember: you are a beautiful, strong wonder of the universe. Good luck on the way to courage.
So tell me… what tools do you use to overcome the fear of failure? I’d like to hear from you below!
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Vicky is an experienced holistic teacher whose work has influenced the lives of millions globally. Born into a family with a history of abuse, Vicky was taught about the plight of the human condition from a young age. As a spiritual mentor and coach, Vicky’s mission is to help others experience freedom, wholeness, and peace in all stages of life, on the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual level. Vicky also encourages people to connect with the Source and other beings by meditation.