We blame others, ourselves, and the circumstances more than it seems. But rarely do change the situation to feel comfortable. What is better: blame or change? Discover it now.
Table of Contents
When Do You Blame
Generally writing, there are three kinds of blame that you can meet in your life:
1. Blaming Others
It is the most common form of blame, I can even say that it is a plague, so automatic. We can blame God and other beings (also animals) for our misfortune and problems.
Blaming others is also a great tool for attack and defence. More about it is below in this article.
2. Blaming the Circumstances
How many times have you said that something happens because of bad weather, noise, or illness? Add more excuses to the list. Some items are probably your unique reasons.
Take a piece of paper and a pen and make your list. You will be surprised by the number of times you blame something.
3. Self-Blame
Okay, you stopped blaming people, and the circumstances and all seem to look fine. You know that you are responsible for your choices and actions… but you take too much on your shoulders.
However, self-blame is the opposite of self-love. The first destroys the second empowers.
You also blame yourself while taking other people’s reactions as your own. This is a big mistake. Doing so you lose a great bit of your precious energy.
Ask yourself a question: Will blaming help to solve the main problem or is it just shooting into the space, which will not change the situation?
Learn how to stop energy leaks
Blame. Why Do We Do It?
Blame or change: Now that you know what kinds of blame you may encounter in your life, learn when it happens:
1. Criticising Any Faults
We all make mistakes. However, blame is a great tool for criticism. You do not focus on the facts but find faults in yourself, other beings and circumstances. Blaming is a form of destructive criticism.
2. Projecting Own Faults
How does it work? For example, you do not cope with relationships well. Anger, impatience, nit-picking or perfectionism can kill even the hottest love. But you do not solve the problem, you look for anger, impatience or nit-picking in other people, blaming them for your own quirks.
3. Conditioning
How many times were your parents quarrelling, and using blame, when you were a child? How many times did they blame you?
Now, here is the answer for conditioning and future repetition of the learnt pattern. Imitation and real repetitions have imprinted you the mechanism of blaming them.
And look at any religion. Usually, humans, are guilty of sins, misfortune and any other kind of evil. Such beliefs are sown deep in your subconscious mind, giving miserable crops.
4. Laziness
It is much easier to find faults in other people and circumstances than to pull up your sleeves and start changing the situation and solving the problems. Blame is also a great kind of excuse for not acting.
Your age, fitness, wealth and other factors of life and people are blamed for your unwillingness to do something.
5. Negative Emotions
We often blame other beings and circumstances during the surge of negative emotions. How do you behave during uncontrolled anger, frustration, disappointment, and overwhelming, jealousy?
The next time work with your emotions and the number of cases when you blame will drastically decrease.
6. Defence
If a person blames us, then it means that two factors may take place. Firstly, something has gone wrong, and secondly, it was our responsibility.
We can accept the problem and either deflect our responsibility by suggesting someone else is to blame, or directly counter-attack by blaming the blame.
If you are not at fault, blaming is used as a tool of defence. If you are at fault, then blame is used to deflect. In either case, self-protection is the motor of pointing the finger elsewhere.
7. Attack
There is one common reason to attack others: revenge and showing your power. You can have some grudge against other beings of circumstances, believing that they are bad or unworthy in some way and, hence deserving punishment.
Perhaps these beings have blamed us unfairly in past. Maybe they have hurt one of our friends. In the case of circumstances, you might have lost your job because of being late or become bankrupt.
In any case, the opportunity to blame is used as a convenient method of subtle attack.
Change
Blame or change: Now let’s look at the other option, which means alternation, doing something different. As in the case of blame, there are some kinds of changes that you can make:
1. Change Your State
I mean changing your thoughts, emotions and beliefs about a given thing or person. It does not mean to be happy while losing your job (unless you hated it and have a better alternative).
In the case mentioned above think of the positive aspects of a given outcome. Also, try to consider yourself as a mighty creator of your reality and believe that your fate will change by taking decent actions.
2. Change Your Behaviour
Your thoughts and beliefs, combined with emotions create a state of “being, ie., your habitual behaviour, especially automatic reactions to a given situation.
Instead of blaming everything for your failure, try to find an opportunity in it. For example, if you accept your karma and actively work on closing it, eventually your situation will improve.
3. Change Your Environment
I do not mean destroying your office twisting someone’s arm to move out or suddenly praising you all the time. Make the changes that are under your control. You can renovate your desk and house, and ask for permission to change something else in your office.
In the case of people, if they do not want to change, none of your manipulative tools will work in the long run. Create your new, better reality but respect other beings and their freedom of choice.
4. Moving On Or Acceptance
So you are unhappy in your relationship or job? Make changes, move on, looking for a new one. In the case of karma, you can accept it, which does not mean remaining unhappy.
Rather actively take some steps to close your karma as soon as possible, learn the lessons and do your homework.
Blame It or Change It?
First, let’s check what other people think about blaming and change. Here are some quotes:
When you blame and criticize others, you are avoiding some truth about yourself.” – Deepak Chopra
When people are lame, they love to blame.” – Robert Kiyosaki
When you check your own mind properly, you stop blaming others for your problems.” – Thubten Yeshe
The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude” – Oprah Winfrey
“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change” – Albert Einstein
Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.” -Harriet Tubman
So, Blane Or Change – What Is Your Choice?
And now the time has come to list some arguments which will help you to decide which option is better: blame or change:
- Blame assumes a generation of negativity, by provoking more blame (see the paragraphs about defending and attacking).
- Blame does not solve the problem (you can still make the same mistakes, the people around will still behave in a specific way and the weather is still the same, no matter how angry you are with it.)
- Blame means no progress. Hence, you cannot achieve your goals and grow, without learning your life lessons.
- Blame means being a victim who resigns from taking responsibility for your life.
- Change means taking responsibility and action. You are in charge of the situation (even during bad weather you can make the most of it by being creative enough.)
- Change can accelerate your growth and find a new perspective.
- Change makes you feel strong and believe in your power, able to transform the Universe.
- Change is inevitable because of the Universal Law Of Change – – everything is cyclical.
- From a holistic point of view, change is inevitable, and it is better to swim with than against the current of evolution and transformation.
- Blaming means that you are paddling against the creek without any meaningful effect.
Blame or change: Taking responsibility and constructive action will help you to create a happy, abundant and healthy life, full of love and joy. But it is you who will decide: blame or change. The choice is always yours.
Exercise – Blame or Change?
Take your diary and a pen and meet better yourself. The answer, in writing, is the following questions to determine if you blame or change:
- What do I not like in people (i.e. my family, friends, co-workers, neighbours)?
- What can I change to feel happy around them again?
- What do I not like in people, my current situation (i.e. my job, relationship)?
- What can I do today to change my situation and feel happy?
- What do I not like in myself (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual self)?
- What can I do today to change my attitude and love myself more?
When you have your answers, plan and take action, right now.
In A Nutshell
Today you could learn about the pros and cons of blaming and making changes in your life. Whichever option you choose, the consequences will be inevitable. Let your choice bring you love, happiness, health and abundance at the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels.
Vicky Yang
