Are you struggling with the fear of rejection? This article will help you to overcome your challenge. How?
The fear of rejection is one of the most destructive fears in your life. This article explained the anatomy of the fear of rejection. You have learnt what causes this fear, with symptoms and what long-term and short-term consequences you face if the fear of rejection is not combated.
But it is never too late to seek help and overcome this challenge. Today you will learn proven and effective, holistic tools that will transform your life. Are you ready to continue reading?
Table of Contents
How to Overcome the Fear of Rejection
Below, you will find nine practical tools helpful with overcoming the fear of rejection. You can use one tool or combine them according to your needs.
1. Check What is Behind the Fear of Rejection
Learn more about this fear. Rejection may cover some underlying challenges, like the fear of abandonment, the fear of loneliness or just worrying about some issues, e.g. your finances, health or a relationship. You can be also attached to your property, someone you love or a habit and rejection can mean loss. In this case, work on your fear of losing things, people or yourself.
2. Accept It
Acceptance of the fear of rejection is one way to deal with it. You do not need to like this fear but it is useful to acknowledge it. Moreover, never beat yourself up for the fear of rejection.
For example, never beat yourself up while being afraid during a job interview or starting to work in a new place. Negative thinking is the worst thing you can do then. Never put pressure on yourself to feel “normal”. You have the guts to feel the fear… and do it anyway.
3. Change Your Thoughts and Beliefs
This is an essential tool to use if you want to overcome the fear of rejection. Low self-esteem and being a people pleaser are the reasons hidden behind rejection. And these thinking patterns are just automatic programs, playing in your head when you dread rejection.
I will give you two strategies that can help you with combating negative thinking patterns that ignite the fear of rejection: stop being self-centred and reprogram a new identity, based on your self-worth.
Remember That People Aren’t Focused on You
Although people might have a kind of opinion about you, it usually happens because they project their thoughts, emotions and fears on you. But remember, their minds are also programmed by society and they also dread rejection.
Moreover, people can be preoccupied with something/someone else, not you during your appearance. It is your attitude and thinking pattern of being at the centre of the world. Whenever a thought of being in the limelight destroys your peace of mind, say to yourself,
Dear mind, stop that thought, you know that I am a wonder, beautiful child of the Universe. I am OK here.
Remind yourself of your worth
Your self-worth has also been programmed by your childhood and youth experiences, plus social, cultural, religious and scientific doctrines. However, very few individuals were told about their worth, no matter what happens to their lives.
Also, people are often crude, sometimes rude and boorish, openly ridiculing someone different from the majority. But this kind of behaviour has also been programmed.
You can build your self-confidence and self-worth, by trying the following tools
list 50 things that you are proud of yourself and keep this page of your diary in your vicinity.
- read these things aloud every morning after getting up
- rewrite at least 20 of them every evening, adding some new things met during the day.
- listen to uplifting lectures, programming your self-esteem
- surround yourself with friendly people
4. Change Your Self-Talk
Your thoughts and beliefs are uttered by self-talk. Do your best to use positive, uplifting language. Try a mantra like “I am enough, “I can do hard things”, or “I can handle it”. Slam your inner critic emerging after rejection by talking to your mind.
Stop that, it does not serve me, I’, putting these words into the bin.
In particular, beware of phrases like those: “I knew I’d mess that up,” “I didn’t … (name the activity, skill) enough,” “I talked too much,” or “I’m so boring.” Instead, write down something opposite in your diary/journal:
- I am interesting enough to…
- I have done the best job ever, because …
- I might have failed this time but I will learn and do better the next time
- Better opportunities are waiting for me.
- Learn more about how to change your beliefs.
Practise Affirmations
I have written a couple of articles about affirmations. This technique can be combined with visualisation, EFT. You can affirm by reading aloud and writing or combining both of these methods.
Firstly, list all the reasons why you dread rejection and then create contra-statements. if you still feel resistant, write and then say aloud:
I am willing to release the resistance to … (your affirmation, e.g “I am enough to handle this job”)
Exercise
For the next 21 days, before going to bed, visualise the affirmation I AM ENOUGH, imagining the thing that you are feeling deficient now. See what will happen.
Practise Visualisation
Again, you can combine it with affirmation but also meditation. Once you have an affirmation concerning the opposite thing than the one you are afraid of, Visualise the positive outcome with vivid details.
Feel yourself as a self-confident person with high self-esteem. Use other senses, like hearing, vision or taste if appropriate. What are you wearing? What words can you hear? What kind of people can you see?
To visualise effectively, find a peaceful place where no one will disturb you. Moreover, set a particular time to visualise. Mornings after getting up and evenings before falling asleep are the best.
5. Channel your Emotions
Your mind and body are interconnected so negative emotions can trigger the same quality of thoughts and create a vicious circle. Also, negative emotions correspond to low-vibrational consciousness states. Therefore, channel your emotions. Let’s start from shame.
Let Go of Shame
This is the lowest vibration, very common after rejection. Therefore, you fear experiencing it again. No one likes humiliation at home after the failure during a job interview or a rejected marriage proposal. Learn more about how to combat shame.
Let Go of Guilt
Guilt is another destructive emotion that you want to avoid in the case of rejection. Feeling guilty about the past can cause you that feel bad about yourself and fear rejection or abandonment from others.
Solution? Learn from your mistakes and combat guilt. Remember that you have a divine spark within and God never makes mistakes, everything is in the right place in the Universe.
Overcome Depression and Inertia
Apathy, the symptom of depression, can paralyse you because of being afraid of rejection. You may consider inertia as a better option than taking action. But this will lead you to nowhere. Missed opportunities will ignite other negative emotions and thoughts, like anger or guilt. Learn why depression is not worth the trouble and how to overcome it.
Tame Your Other Fears
There may be more monsters to tame in your life. Fears of abandonment, loneliness, criticism, death, poverty, alienation, violence, ridicule, humiliation, vulnerability, and being killed or tortured are very common.
Many of these fears are entrenched in your subconscious mind and they were imprinted in your past lives. Therefore, reprogram your subconscious mind and start a new life now.
Pacify Your Anger
Anger can be a healthy emotion sometimes. However, we usually let it go out of control. When lots of damage is done, especially in relationships, anger represents the willingness to take action but destructively and chaotically.
If you cannot handle your anger, chances are that there will be fear of other people’s reaction. Usually, the fear of rejection masks the fear of negative feedback and the outburst of anger. Manage your anger wisely and create a happy life.
Tame Pride and Unhealthy Desire
Desire can be healthy as you find motivation to change your life. However, we often let this emotion become greed, which is destructive and leads to conflicts and ignites other low-vibrational emotions, like the aforementioned anger. Learn about how to pacify any negative emotion.
6. Prioritize Self-Care
You will be vulnerable to rejection if self-care is not your strong point. Dowdy clothes, being overweight and unfit will not help you to find a dream partner or a job. The same applies to negative thinking and some habits, e.g. procrastination.
Also, you will not be able to question a possible rejection while being physically and mentally ill, underslept, or moody. Take care of yourself first and there will be less chance of rejection and fear concerning it. Start with clearing your clutter.
Other ways of self-care:
- Eat healthy food.
- Drink plenty of fluids.
- Sleep at least 7 hours a day.
- Do physical exercises, for at least 5 minutes a day.
- Expose yourself to sunlight and stay out for at least 30 minutes daily.
- Nourish your body.
- Protect and nourish your aura
- Keep mental hygiene – nourish only positive thoughts.
7. Heal Cellular Memory
Modern science assumes that cells are charged with the energy of emotions, traumas and the subconscious memory of past events, not only from the current life. This is one of the causes of ancestral karma to be made up. Why?
Because we inherit all this information stored in cells by reproduction In the future, I will write more about healing cellular memory. In the meantime, try closing ancestral karma and work on your subconscious mind.
8. Relax and Charge Yourself Spiritually
The tools described here are universal and can be used in the case of other challenges to overcome: depression, fear of failure or hearing voices. However, these tools are so important that I have decided to write about them again. Recharge your body, mind and soul spiritually.
Practice Meditation
There are many kinds of meditation. I am writing about the holistic one, combining spiritual and mental aspects. Start with a couple of minutes daily, connecting to your soul and as God and Higher Beings of Light for help to eradicate the fear of rejection. Visualise that the fear is overcome.
Pray
I have already mentioned some prayers to transform your subconscious mind. You can also pray to alleviate the fear of rejection – not only on the mental level. Check these prayers and transform your life.
Practise Body Work
This is your awareness of the body and its reactions. There are some effective techniques of bodywork, like rolfing, reiki or craniosacral therapy. I just recommend focusing on each part of the body and its reactions, e.g. during walking, or lying down.
Practise Breathwork
Whenever the ear of rejection attacks you, try breathwork. Focus on breathing in and out. Before you start a serious talk with your partner or a job interview, breathe consciously in the 6 – 5 – 7 rhythm (inhaling – holding – exhaling). apart from stressful events, practise breathwork regularly during each day.
9. Face Your Fear of Rejection
Now take action. You can try exposing yourself to fear, overcoming the avoidance of social situations, and being active in your team or relationship. Increase the time you spend facing the fear of rejection and praise yourself each time you have taken the challenge, no matter how well it has gone.
Examples of social interactions: introducing yourself to new people, expressing your opinion during a conference, asking questions, and proposing new solutions to your employer. Learn how to build unbreakable self-confidence.
If you are an empath, do not forget about grounding and negative energy cleansing to combat the fear of rejection. protect your aura and strengthen it regularly.
Look for the Learning Opportunity
Fear of rejection, like everything, is the opportunity to learn more about yourself – what challenges have to be overcome, what areas of life need more self-confidence, and self-worth and what thoughts magnify the monster – your fear.
Credits to Healthline.com and Choosing Therapy.
In a Nutshell
Fear of rejection can be paralysing and challenging. However, knowing its roots, accepting it and self-care can help to disarm this fear. Work on your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual goals, plus be brave to face the fear of rejection. Good luck. With lots of love and light,
Vicky Yang
