How to forgive your parents? Discover some effective techniques to do the job and enjoy a happy relationship with your parents.
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Have you ever tried to forgive your parents and it was tough? I understand this pain very well. It took me a good bit of time to work out various emotions and eventually – forgive my mum and dad.
Today I would like to share a simple but effective tool that you can use to forgive your parents. But first, let’s look at two important aspects concerning parents:
1. Parents And the Quality of Our Life
Our ancestors have a huge impact on your life. You inherit their genes, learn their beliefs and feel the emotions accumulated in the cellular memory. Let me explain this term:
Cellular memory (CM) is a parallel hypothesis to BM positing that memories can be stored outside the brain in all cells. The idea that non-brain tissues can have memories is believed by some who have received organ transplants, though this is considered impossible. – Wikipedia
All the grudges, anger, and other kind of negative energy of all kinds accumulated there. Think of your mother’s fear during pregnancy, before you were born. What about all the words and thoughts she has sent you then? Your mother also had similar memories of her mother and father and their ancestors in her cells.
You not only inherit this memory as structures of the cells inherited during fertilization but also all their thoughts, emotions and words while being created.
2. Parents And God
When old children talk about their parents, they mention their mothers first. However, many adults are disappointed with their mothers and fathers. They blame their parents for what has not been done, and what should be done differently.
In doing so, these adults expect their parents to be God. It simply means that they put their parents, especially their mother, next to God and they expect their mother and father to be like God’s “Poor mother”.
And I would also say “Poor God.”. What have you done with your mother thinking in this way? What about God?
How to Forgive Your Parents
Journaling and affirmation can work the best here. You not only dissolve difficult emotions but cast them off your chest.
1. Write a Letter to Your Parents
Below, I will give you an example, to give you an idea of where to start. You can amend it or write a different piece of your thoughts.
One day, I wrote a letter to her. She is still alive, but if it is not your case, write this letter anyway. I have apologised to her; it is never too late for you to do the same.
Before writing apologies, I let go of all negative emotions – grievance, anger, pain, bitterness, and resentment by writing them down and burning the pieces of paper.
Dear Mum, Dear Dad,
Mum, you are just an ordinary woman like millions of women in the world. As an ordinary woman, you met my father who is also ordinary.
You loved each other and have decided to stay together for all your lives. Therefore, you have decided to get married and make love as a man and a woman.
Fruit Of Love
I am the fruit of your love. I am alive because you have been making love. Then you were waiting for me for nine months, with hope, but also with fear if all would go well – for you and myself.
Yes, my mom, then you delivered me in pain and fear, like other mothers. You and my father looked at each other and me and said: “Is it our child?
Then you told me “Yes, you are our child, and we are your parents. We are taking you as our child”. Next, you gave me a name and your surname and said: “It is our child, it belongs to us.“
Bringing Up
Later, you fed me and were brought up for many years, thinking about me all the time, worrying about me and how to meet my needs. You have given me so much.
Other people said, and I also did the same, that you had shortcomings, that you were not perfect. I was saying who you should have been to be the right parents for me. But only because you were as you were/are, I have become who I am now. All was right for me. Thank you, my Mum, thank you, my Dad.
Liberation
Now, my Mum, I am liberating you from all my expectations, demands which are beyond what I can expect from an ordinary woman. I have got enough aid it is enough. Thank you.
My Dad, I am liberating you from all my expectations and demands, going beyond what I can expect from an ordinary man. I have got enough, and it is enough. Thank you.
I also liberate myself from any negative energy, words, or thoughts that have emerged during our time spent together. Instead, I set clear intentions of love and forgiveness.
Thank You, My Dear Mother, Thank You, My Dear Father
List everything your parents did for you. Here are some examples:
Thank you, my Mum and Dad, for:
- giving me life,
- feeding me,
- showing me how to live in society,
- showing me the spiritual world,
- teaching me about finances,
- teaching me about loving other people,
- giving me an example of how to love each other as a man and a woman,
- helping with anything I needed,
- financial help with my education,
- There are many more things I am not able to list here now.
2. Meditation
Use the power of meditation to dissolve all the negativity concerning your parents. Cleanse any negativity and ask God with the Beings of Light for help with total forgiveness. Create love and peace with your parents.
Once you have written the letter to forgive your parents, invite Higher Beings to shed you some light and amplify your intention. Therefore, it will be easier to go to the third tool that you can use.
3. Affirmations
To fully forgive your parents, affirm what you have written. Your first version of the letter can be full of anger, tears, grievance and resentment, in the case your parents did you much wrong.
Then you can use your voice to articulate and release all these emotions. Go to the bathroom and look into the mirror. Imagine that your mum or dad is looking at you. bring the written letter with you and read it aloud, as long as you forgive your parents.
In a Nutshell
Write out the letter which will heal your relationship with your parents, before it is too late. Be loving and grateful and you can be sure that the good energy put into the letter comes back multiplied into your life. Good luck.
Vicky Yang
